The Self-Leadership Assessment: How to Honestly Evaluate Your Internal Command
Eight out of ten employees feel their leader has unaddressable flaws, and how to create the psychological safety that gets you the honest feedback you need to grow.
Part Two: Self-Leadership Series.
Most leaders who excel at evaluating others struggle to create environments where they can receive honest feedback about themselves.
The biggest mistake is assuming people will naturally provide you with authentic feedback without you creating psychological safety for them to do so.
This assumption creates a feedback desert where you operate on outdated information about your leadership impact while everyone around you stays silent about your blind spots. Early in my military career, I avoided asking for feedback; I thought it showed weakness or uncertainty. However, as I advanced to senior leadership positions, I learned that feedback wasn't just valuable; it was essential. I started including specific feedback questions during performance reviews. If you find yourself surrounded by yes-people or if the feedback you receive feels sanitized and surface-level, you haven't created the conditions for honest assessment to flourish.
Embracing the mindset that 'feedback is a gift' and actively fostering environments where people feel safe giving it is the key to unlocking your potential as a leader. This approach not only promotes personal growth but also inspires those around you to contribute to your development.
Eight Out of Ten Leaders Have Undiscussable Flaws
Research reveals that eight out of ten employees feel their leader has an undiscussable flaw, while studies show that although 95% of people think they're self-aware, only 10 to 15% are.
This gap explains why so many successful leaders are blindsided by 360 reviews, a comprehensive evaluation process that gathers feedback from all directions-subordinates, peers, and superiors. If you've been operating on incomplete information about your actual impact, these reviews can reveal blind spots and areas for improvement. The data matters because this disconnect between self-perception and reality creates a false sense of leadership competence, which prevents genuine growth and adaptation. Your situation is likely to be affected if you notice people agreeing with you more as you've gained authority, or if you feel successful professionally but sense a disconnect in your professional relationships.
The key is creating feedback systems that prioritize psychological safety over comfortable conversations.
How To Build Your Personal Feedback Intelligence Network
Here's the three-step framework that transforms superficial input into actionable leadership intelligence.
Step 1: The Safety-First Approach - Explicitly communicate that you value honest feedback over comfortable feedback, share examples of feedback that helped you grow, and demonstrate through your responses that candor is rewarded, not punished
Step 2: The Strategic Question Framework - Use specific, open-ended questions designed for subordinates, peers, and superiors that go beyond "How am I doing?" to uncover real blind spots and growth opportunities
Step 3: The Follow-Through System - Create accountability by sharing what you learned from feedback, identifying specific changes you'll make, and checking back to see if people notice improvement
You can start by choosing one trusted person this week and asking them one specific feedback question, then show that you can handle their honest response.
Remember, the quality of your leadership is directly linked to the quality of feedback you receive. By actively seeking and valuing honest feedback, you can gain a deeper understanding of your impact and continuously improve your leadership skills.
Here's Why You Should Prioritize Authentic Feedback Now
Leaders who actively seek difficult feedback adapt faster, build stronger relationships, and avoid career-limiting blind spots.
Studies show that leaders who regularly solicit honest feedback are 3x more likely to be promoted, have 67% better team performance, and experience significantly lower turnover in their organizations. Most importantly, authentic feedback accelerates your development by highlighting the gap between your intentions and your impact, something you can never see from your perspective. Without it, you're flying blind in your most important relationships and missing opportunities to course-correct before minor issues become major problems.
For example, a senior leader I worked with took pride in being decisive and direct. Still, when he finally created space for honest feedback, he learned that his team experienced his "directness" as dismissiveness that shut down creativity.
This feedback changed everything for him. It was a transformative experience that empowered him to improve his team's innovation and morale. His story is a testament to the power of honest feedback in driving long-term gains in effectiveness and relationships. As a leader, you too can experience this transformation by scheduling one honest feedback conversation this week, focusing more on what you can learn than what you want to hear.
Feedback is only a gift if you're willing to unwrap it.
Next…We'll dive into Part Three of this series: "From External Validation to Internal Compass: Building Your Personal Mission Statement." I'll share the framework that helped me discover my purpose beyond the uniform, and how you can find yours beyond your current title.