"Tell Me What I Need to Know": The Leadership Phrase That Changed Everything

Building a Culture of Solutions, Not Just Problems

Hey Unshaken Leaders!

It was the first week as the new leader of the DOD’s largest distribution center. I was in the conference room with over 25 members of my senior leadership team, who had just finished briefing me on over 80 slides containing metrics, KPIs, and data that were too numerous to count. The same slides and content that were briefed to the last five leaders in my position. I needed to set the tone for my team, and this was an excellent opportunity to do so.

As the final slide appeared, I looked around the room at the expectant faces of my new team. Instead of offering immediate judgment, I leaned forward with genuine curiosity. "I appreciate the thorough briefing, but I'd like us to think together about something. What is most critical for me to understand about our operations? How do we know if we had a good day, week, or month?"

The team members exchanged glances, clearly not expecting this pivot. This wasn't about criticism but rather about creating a space where authentic dialogue could begin.

Throughout my career, I've noticed a pattern in military and corporate briefings, as well as leadership transitions. The information would flow abundantly, but insight remained scarce. Slides packed with metrics, detailed status reports, and well-meaning personnel rehearsing what they thought senior leaders wanted to hear, yet the crucial context and meaning often got lost in the deluge.

This moment with my new team was my opportunity to break that cycle. After listening to their initial responses, I shared what would become our guiding principle:

"Don't tell me what you want to tell me. Tell me what I need to know."

It sounds simple, but that one sentence changed how I led and how my team learned to lead themselves.

The Turning Point

When I started leading large organizations, I realized how often people defaulted to problem identification rather than problem-solving. They'd walk in with usually complicated issues, but leave the burden of action sitting squarely on my desk.

I can still picture the nervous tapping of a pen against a notepad, the shifting glances toward the door, telltale signs someone was there to offload rather than problem-solve.

Those physical cues told me more than words ever could. The problem wasn't intelligence or intent; it was habit. We had unknowingly created a culture where the reward was for spotting the fire, not figuring out how to put it out. And in an environment where time is your most precious resource, that's a problem.

So, I started shifting the culture with a single expectation: If you're walking through my door, I want to see that you're ready to talk about the fire, grab a hose, and help put it out.

Redefining the Standard

The new rule was clear: Don't just bring me a problem. Bring me your analysis. Your recommendation. Your plan.

At first, it caught people off guard. Some had never been asked to think at that level. Others are worried about getting it wrong. But I stood firm, not because I wanted to delegate blame but to build confidence. I wasn't trying to centralize control; I was doing the opposite.

By asking people to focus on what mattered most and to speak in terms of solutions rather than symptoms, we created something powerful: A decentralized decision-making culture where leaders at every level were equipped and expected to act.

And something shifted. People started walking into meetings differently. They stopped asking for permission and started showing up with conviction. We didn't just become faster; we became smarter. This transformation is not unique to my team. Your team, too, has the potential to make this shift, to become a smarter, more empowered unit.

For instance, when there were unexpected shipment delays or work stoppages due to equipment malfunctions, instead of providing me with status reports, my operations lead arrived with three potential solutions, their pros and cons, and a recommended path forward. We solved in minutes what would have taken days of back-and-forth deliberation. This is the power of empowerment, the power of asking for recommendations. It's not because everyone had the answer, but because they felt empowered to try. And this is the kind of transformation you can bring to your team.

Not because everyone had the answer, but because they felt empowered to try.

Empowerment in Action

I'll be honest: this shift wasn't always comfortable. Sometimes, I questioned whether I was pushing too hard or expecting too much. Some team members struggled initially, and I resisted the urge to provide solutions. But watching someone grow into their potential, seeing that moment when confidence replaces uncertainty, that's worth every uncomfortable conversation.

That phrase "Tell me what I need to know" became more than a line. It became a mindset. It taught us to focus. To filter out the noise. To think two steps ahead. And it reinforced something I deeply believe: Leadership is about building others up, not bottlenecking decisions at the top.

By trusting people with problems and the authority to solve them, we created a team that could move confidently, even in uncertainty. And more importantly, we made a space where taking risks was underwritten by trust. That's how you unlock ownership. That's how you build a team that leads itself. Trust is the cornerstone of leadership, and by building it, you can empower your team to lead.

Pat Summit, the former women’s basketball coach for the Tennessee Volunteers, said to her players, "Responsibility equals ownership. A sense of ownership is the most powerful weapon a team or organization can have." From someone who is a basketball junkie, I love this!

What You Can Take With You

Leadership isn't about knowing everything. It's about knowing what matters and empowering others to act on it. So the next time someone starts a conversation with a long explanation, try cutting to the core:

"Don't tell me what you want to tell me. Tell me what I need to know."

Then pause... and see what happens. You might be surrounded by a team that doesn't wait to be told; they lead.

Unshaken Leader Tip…

As a recommendation, I used to keep a small note on my desk that read: "What do they need to know? What do they need to lead?" It reminded me that my job isn't to have all the answers; it's to create the conditions where others can find them.

Ask one team member this week: "What do you recommend?" Then, listen fully. Not the listening where you're preparing your response, but the kind where you're genuinely curious about what they see that you might not. You'll likely discover they've been ready to lead all along; they were waiting for the invitation.

Empowering others was only part of my journey. The harder part? Learning to let go. More on that vulnerable truth another time.